“Forty million records later, I am still the fucking man…”
So, here’s something I really didn’t want to happen. I didn’t want to write this blog entry. I didn’t want this band to keep existing. But alas, here we are. It’s fucking 2013 and we’re still talking about Limp fucking Bizkit. You may well argue that by writing about them, I am indeed a part of the problem rather than part of the solution. But I want you to think of this less of a blog entry and more of a public service announcement. Watch this video – or at least a part of it – and then let other people know that it’s out there and that it’s to be avoided at all costs.
Where do we begin? It’s dudes in their forties trying to rock out like teenagers, throwing in dated references (Lady Gaga and Jessica Biel? When did you write this shit, Fred? 2009?) and gratuitous porn parody footage (yeah, don’t ask) for “good” measure. There’s a Lil Wayne cameo that’s so insanely phoned in, I’m genuinely shocked you can’t see the Skype logo anywhere during his verse. Oh, did I mention your pal and mine Fred Durst raps on the toilet at one stage? Yeah, all class right there. Top form. It’s an ugly, ugly beast of a video; documenting a band that’s a shadow of their former self – and even that was a bit embarrassing. Realistically, Limp Bizkit were a band that you enjoyed when both your age and your IQ was under 18. Watching them now, greying beards and all, still trying to boast how hard they go is potentially the most cringe inducing thing you’ll see all year. Shut it down.
Oh, and this is off a new album. It’s called Stampede of the Disco Elephants. I wish I was kidding.