The Cringe: House vs. Hurricane – “Forfeiture”

“Hopefully, one day you will find yourself…”

Yesterday, Melbourne band House vs. Hurricane announced that they were splitting up. Ladies, if your man is over the age of 17 and genuinely cared about this news, THAT’S A DEALBREAKER. For those outside of Australia who luckily dodged this bullet, HvH were a group of talentless hacks that could never decide whether they wanted to be a poor man’s Underoath, a poor man’s Senses Fail or a poor man’s From First to Last. The ended up with a nasty pastiche of all of these acts, and not even a supposedly dramatic change in line-up and sound could save their sorry arses.

I give you the video for Forfeiture, which was filmed in an abandoned jail (what badarses! Modern day Johnny Cashes, these kids!) and reflects just how late to the party they were with the whole “we-grew-up-listening-to-Atreyu” thing. A few things to note in watching this clip. The first of which is that a keyboardist in a metalcore band is invariably the uncoolest person in the world. Seriously, watch this jackass windmilling away when he doesn’t have a part. It’s brilliant. Also, all the tough-guy preening in this video is some of the more unintentionally hilarious scene-core actions caught on camera this side of The Hot Lies. Especially when they break into that disco shit near the end. You can’t look like a hard-arse when you’re playing that shit. Come on, now! In conclusion, House vs. Hurricane were a piece of shit band and I’m glad they’re dead. Bonsoir!


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