Watch This If You Dare: Lana Del Ray – “Young and Beautiful”

“Dear Lord, when I get to Heaven, please let me bring my man…”

Hi, guys! So, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like first? The good news? Okay, that works for me. Well, the good news is that The Great Gatsby is out in the world, and friend-of-the-blog Brendan Maclean stars in it. So go and check that out, even if you’re not a Baz Luhrman guy. I mean, I’m sure as shit not. But I’d do anything for our B-Mac. I hope you do the same. The bad news, then? Oh. That. Well, someone in some department somewhere at some stage of proceedings thought it would be a good idea to get Lana Del fucking Ray to do something for the soundtrack.

Now, given that it’s no longer 2012, I had foolishly figured that just enough time had passed for us to realise and appreciate that getting Lana Del Ray to do anything at any time for anyone is a bad idea. Don’t believe me? Oh, go ahead; go watch the video for Blue Jeans again. Or worse, the video for Ride. Thank fuck we never got around to that one on the blog. I would have necked myself before I even got to 100 words. Anyway, let’s take a look at Young and Beautiful, the typically overwrought and sappy new song that they’ve thrown on the Gatsby soundtrack. The video consists of an Instagram filter, some footage of an orchestra – and, of course, our dear sweet Lizzie herself. She looks as bored and dissatisfied as she sounds – and, subsequently, how you’ll look once you’re done watching this video. There’s no plot, only attempts at spectacle. Look how pretty everything is? Christ on a bike. Bring me a bucket, won’t you Lizzie? I’m done here.

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