“If I was Eddie Vedder, I bet you’d like me better…”
Nah, screw this. Just because I have a couple of mates who’ve played with this kid (hi, Dave and Rohan!) and he’s apparently a nice kid, doesn’t mean he’s getting off scot-free. He’s already been a nuisance with his Pink-aping Good Night and his obnoxious covers of songs by 30 Seconds to Mars and Aerosmith, and now he’s moving on to bigger and far, far worse things. It’s time for his second album, the hideously titled Beautiful Nightmare – and, of course, it’s time for another stupid single and video.
I’m furious by the first 30 seconds of this video, as Mastin does a shitty attempt and being… an accountant? An office worker? What? He’s seventeen. I’m not even sure he’d be legally allowed to do anything like that. He infuriates me further with his faux-American accent – check out his phrasing on the word “douchebag” in the second verse – and his poorly-executed job of trying to convince people that he knows who Eddie Vedder is. Nice try, pup! The whole thing is majorly irritating, and not even clever enough to pass as satire. While we’re here, I can’t get over how distracting the gap in his teeth is. Petty? Sure. But I’m a cunt. Hell, that’s why I’m picking on a teenage boy. I just find stuff like this to be vapid, annoying bullshit. I’d prefer if it stopped, and stopped forthwith. Thanks in advance!