Watch This If You Dare: The Offspring – “Cruising California (Bumpin’ in My Trunk)”

“The girl that you want, with the g-string just like floss…”

Well, shit. Wasn’t it just the other day I was mourning the death of my childhood due to The Offspring‘s fucking terrible new song and video clip? Not content with the Foo Fighters rip-off Days Go By, the crusty fuckers have now started ripping off the Black Eyed Peas with an even worse song and an even worse video. What the actual fuck is going on here? When the audio for this dropped, we assumed we were being Punk’d or whatever the show is now. No fucking way was this actually going on a fucking Offspring record. Alas, here we are.

So, the main defense going around for Cruising California is that it’s a parody or a joke. It’s supposed to be like Pretty Fly, right? Here’s the thing: Pretty Fly was relevant at the time, as well as catchy and clever. This is fucking trash – the stupid bus, the pole dancers, the irritating raps from Dexter Holland AND his autotuned warbling. I just… I really don’t know what to do or where to go from here. It’s a pathetic attempt to stay relevant and make fun of a sound directly ripped from about 2009. If ANYONE has ANY clue as to why ANY of them thought this was a good idea, I’m all ears.

I’m going to go punch a wall. Just see how long you can watch this.


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