Watch This If You Dare: Anchored feat. Snoop Dogg – “Throwin’ Down”

Usually, it’s good that an artist/song/album/whatever can be provocative to the point where one openly starts asking questions. Curiousity is often a wonderful thing, as you’ll know if you’re a longtime reader. Sometimes, though, it just doesn’t add up; and one might end up asking questions for all the wrong reasons. Here is a list of questions related to this video that I will now attempt to answer.

  1. Who the fuck are Anchored?
  2. What the hell is going on here?
  3. What year is it?
  4. What the fuck is Snoop Dogg doing?

Tough questions, but someone’s got to ask them.

Let’s take a look and see what we can make sense of.

1. From what I can gather, Anchored are a Texan band of douchelords with shitty facial hair, shitty tattoos and shitty music. They list their interests as “eeting new fans and friends, drinking, playin’ music and havin’ a good time!” Wouldn’t be surprised if “lynching niggers” was on that list, too. They released their debut album in January.

2. Well, they seem to have gone for the hard-partyin’ redneck style of video, where everyone rocks out for the camera and gets drunk. Typical trailer trash bullshit, really. Not sure what the obsession is with the moonshine, but hey.

3. I know, right? They’ve ripped this shit basically straight out of 2005, where bands like Buckcherry, Hinder and Papa Roach reigned supreme with this tacky horseshit. Wouldn’t be surprised if they all had the stars and stripes tattooed on them, or at least the phrase “DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS.” The rent-a-crowd are pretty pathetic, too.

4. Hone$tly, I have no idea what $noop think$ he’$ doing or who he’$ trying to impre$$. The rea$on why he would do $omething like thi$ i$ beyond me. It’$ probably $taring me right in the face, too. $illy me.

Goddammit. I hate everything. Fuck this shit.

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