Watch This If You Dare: Rebecca Black – “My Moment”

“I hope you are happy, ’cause I’m about to blow up…”

Oh, Rebecca. My dear, sweet young Rebecca. My Moment? You had your moment – turn up as a novelty every now and then, maybe star in a few more Katy Perry videos if the time felt right. Your moment could have involved getting back to your normal life, before the whole Ark Music thing made you infamous. Anything, really – except this. I really didn’t want to bore it up you, but I mean…really? This? At the very fucking least, Friday was enjoyable on an ironic level. There’s nothing for this. It’s not hilariously bad, so-bad-it’s-good…hell, it’s not even catchy. And as for the video, young lady, what a mess!

This honestly looks as though the production team have thought long and hard about which of the biggest cliches of pop videos they should use, before snapping and saying “Fuck it, we’ll use them all.” Jamming with a band when there are no instruments apart from keyboards and a drum machine? Check! Dance studio? Check! Paparazzi shooting for no reason whatsoever? Check! Wind machine? Motherfucking CHECK. The whole thing feels even more contrived than Friday – if that was humanly possible to begin with. I really don’t want to stay mad at Rebecca – I follow her on Twitter, after all, and she seems like a lovely girl. This, however, is a shit sandwich. The moment’s gone.

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