Watch This If You Dare: Limp Bizkit – “Gold Cobra”

“It’s so gold, it’s so gold, it’s so golden, y’all…”

What the fuck is going on? Creed got back together, Disturbed are playing arena tours and, perhaps worst of all, Limp fucking Bizkit are back together and are releasing new music. Can someone please point me in the direction of anyone who thought that this was a good idea? I feel like punching someone’s lights out. Truly one of the worst ideas in the history of music was getting a bunch of dudes in their forties to try and recreate their glory days of Rollin’, My Generation et al. from roughly a decade ago. It’s just embarrassing for anyone with more than a handful of braincells left rattling about up there.

So, just how bad is Gold Cobra, the band’s comeback video and first official video since their horrible cover of Motley Crue‘s Home Sweet Home? It’s tough to digest and comprehend just how truly horrible this video is, so I’ve presented it in a neat little point-by-point summary.

  • Watching Fred Durst do…well, pretty much everything. His bad-boy posteuring, his wigga gang-signs, even attempting to do a fucking kickflip in slow motion. It’s painful.
  • That sub-Transformers piece of shit car that Durst and some random rock up in at the beginning of the clip.
  • DJ Lethal. What the fuck does he do in the band anymore apart from look pleased with himself?
  • Synchronised titty bouncing. Never before did I EVER expect to use that phrase on this blog, but here we are.
  • Watching Wes Borland attempt to be freaky and intimidating and just coming off like a reject from the Planet of the Apes remake.
  • Does it bother anyone else that this looks like this could have come out exactly one decade ago and nothing would have had to have been changed?
  • Do you think the band themselves are stuck in 2001?
  • How weird would that be?!?
  • We’re getting off track.
  • Fuck, Durst’s goatee is hilarious. He looks so crusty, too, it’s so pathetic.

…I think that sums it up pretty nicely, don’t you?


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