Watch This If You Dare: Alan Jackson – “Hard Hat and a Hammer”

“A homemade sandwich, half a jug of tea…”

Thank fucking GOD for the Country Music Channel on Austar. When there’s nothing good on the Comedy Channel, I strongly suggest you chance upon whatever bullshit they’ll be spinning – eight times out of ten it’s going to be some of the funniest shit you see all year. Like this relatively new audio-visual cringe-fest from Alan Jackson.

Now, if that name sounds familiar to you, it’s probably from watching a lot of the aforementioned Comedy Channel – Jackson was the country artist parodied on South Park for his awful song Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning), in which he cashed in on the 9/11 attacks with some jingoistic bullshit set to four chords. Ahh, yes, you remember our old hick buddy AJ, right?

So, what’s he up to these days? Well, still cashing in on a target market, but it’s a different one this time – the “average Joe,” and their shit-average jobs that are apparently what keeps Uhhmurrica – sorry, America – together. So, he’s put together a montage of random dudes doing construction work, and then thrown him and his huge fuck-off band into the mix just to switch it up a little. It’s a sickly sweet sentiment, sure to bring a tear to the eye of hicks around the world and a hearty laughter to those of us who don’t find our cousins attractive.

A couple of things to point out, too – why wait until the VERY END of the song to mention that women are, indeed, ALSO working class? And what’s up with the lyric “cradle of the promised land”? Call me crazy, but I was always under the impression that the promised land was indeed Israel, and not the U.S.?

Ahh, whatever, I’ve given this old prick more time than he deserves. There may be “nothin’ wrong with a hard hat and a hammer,” but there’s certainly a lot wrong with this song and video.

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