Normally lyrics would go here, but it’s the same fucking song, so w/e…
Welcome to a very special edition of The Cringe, as we take a look at one of the most bizarre moments in the history of 2000s pop. Two randoms released songs with the same beat, one after another, and were subsequently never heard of again. The first one to release was Eamon – who? Exactly. – with the song Fuck It (I Don’t Want You Back). Keeping in the history of pop trends of “it will sell if it swears in the chorus” (see: Little Lion Man), Eamon holds the Guiness World Record for the most swearing in a number one single (the word “fuck” is said 33 times, for the record). The video sees him being a bro-slash-hardass, arguing with bitches at restaurants, ignoring the pizza in front of him, rolling with his posse in a beige hoodie and slayin’ it in the studio like all good bros do. From recollection, he even overturns one of the tables at the restaurant out of pure frustation – evidently, the year 2004 was dealing with a man who does NOT fuck around. It carries on like this for basically the entire video – it’s generic, it’s self-indulgent and it’s ever so worthy of The Cringe.
Now, the urban legend was that Eamon’s ex – the one who the song is addressed to – heard the song and decided she had a right of reply before she launched her own singing career. We now know that the story was bullshit and it completely backfired on Frankee – she had to pay royalties to Eamon for sampling Fuck It. As her song topped the charts, he earned double the hit money off one song. Fucking genius! The song, entitled F.U.R.B. (Fuck You Right Back) was released by Frankee in a matter of months after Fuck It sold a fucktillion copies and bought Eamon an island in French Micronesia*. The accompanying video saw Frankee throwing shit out of her window, giggling in her underpants, and dancing on a boardwalk with a hat. Oh, and going to the club. IN BLACK AND WHITE. Essentially, this comes off as “yeah, I have an incredibly high opinion of myself and my looks – BUT I HAVE FEELINGS TOO, MAN!” Deep shit, man, totally. Like Eamon, she also enjoys rolling with a posse, tearing up photos and generally wearing clothes that were acceptable in 2004 but would now be looked at with an air of “what the fuck were you thinking”. Bright pink plastic heels are the order of the day – classy! Like Paris Hilton or some shit! Take THAT, beige hoodie!
In conclusion, this never should have happened and I’m sorry you had to experience this. As well as experience the videos below. Which you’re going to do now.
* = may be false. **
** = is false.