Watch This If You Dare: Vanessa Amorosi – “Holiday”

PIC: Vanessa might get a lot of crap, but as evidenced here, she’s really tight with Y,WGAV!
I was stoked to get this picture.

“Holiday, holiday, holiday, holiday…”

Who’s next? Ahh, yes. Ms. Amorosi. Thanks for coming. Take a seat, would you?

Now, love, we need to have a talk. I’ve been running this blog for awhile, and if I recall correctly, you made an appearance not too long ago. Is that right? Yes, for Mr. Mysterious. I know, I know – it was terrible and you’re sorry. And I forgive you – your music might be the closest thing Australian radio gets to the sound of purest hell this side of Short Stack, but you do it so earnestly. Which is why I’m sad that I have to feature you again. Still, you brought this one on yourself, love.

First off: from Madonna to Green Day and beyond, did we really need another song called Holiday? Especially one as vapid, soulless and phoned in as this one? Not only is the song essentially a rage-inducing headache across three-and-a-half minutes, the video is the most ugly thing I have seen in awhile. In regards to the video itself – Here are your two lessons of the day, Vanessa. Lesson the first: If you have no budget, that’s fine, but STOP trying to pretend your video is more expensive than it actually is. Generic green-screen crap and the kind of visuals you’d expect from a year seven kid on their first go of a graphics tablet are not beneficial for anyone involved – least of all you. Lesson the second: Don’t try and sell sex if you are not sexy. I’m al for self-confidence, love, but acting like some kind of goddess in all of your videos is literally sickening. Cease and desist.

Please stop being terrible, Vanessa. You really should have stuck to singing Absolutely Everybody to sick kid wards with Elmo. Nobody deserves this shit inflicted on them. That’s all for today, but I’d better not catch you releasing any more mediocre shit this year. Only one person has gone the hat trick on Y,WGAV! for awfulness – and do you really want to reach the same lows as Tamara Jaber? Didn’t think so. Now, get out of my office.

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